Everyone trying to get pregnant wants to know how long it took for other people so here is how long it took for me. Trying to get pregnant is so weird because it is ingrained in your head that if you make one mistake you will get pregnant which I guess is still true but not usually the case. To get pregnant you have to have sex at the perfect time and even if you do the chances of getting pregnant are still only 25-30%. You’re having sex all the time and still at the end of the month you get your period even though you had so much unprotected sex, it just feels so backwards from “you make one little mistake and you are pregnant”. 

 

For my first pregnancy it took 4 months to get pregnant. Our plan was to try as soon as we got married, nothing to do with being married, that’s just how the timing went. We ended up starting to try a few months before our wedding because every time I got my period I was getting really depressed, I was pretty sure my birth control was causing this. We were like well we're so close lets just start now. In the end I am so glad I didn’t get pregnant until after our wedding, I was so nauseous. 

 

At first we were like we’re trying but not trying which is what everyone says when they are trying but don’t want to admit it. I started looking at my cycle to figure out when I was ovulating and it was so hard to not get sucked into when we’d have to have sex. After a few months of this, we are like this isn’t working and we or at least I was so stressed out, I was like lets just take a break. I looked at the calendar and was like okay these are the 2 weeks, lets have sex as much as we want in these two weeks and see what happens. I didn’t stress about which day was more fertile, we just went with the 2 weeks and it worked. On our fourth try I was pregnant with Ryden.

 

With Oaklyn it was very different. I wanted to get pregnant in September so that I wasn’t pregnant in the summer. I was pregnant in the summer with Ryden and it was so hard because our summers are so hot. But then we got impatient and started trying in May I think. I was like let's not stress and just have sex when we want because that’s what worked with Ryden. It didn’t work this time. I didn’t take in account how you have way less sex with a toddler. We maybe had sex 2-3 times in the 2 week window and that wasn’t enough to get the right day. After 4 months I was like this isn’t working let's actually try. So we did the same thing, found the 2 weeks and had sex every day or 2 in that two weeks and it worked. On the fifth or first try depending how you look at it I got pregnant with Oaklyn. It ended up being September which is what I wanted anyways so it worked out.

 

Trying to get pregnant is actually very lonely and can be depressing. You want a baby so bad and you only get one chance each month. Meanwhile you see all these other women getting pregnant while you aren’t and you’re left wondering if you can even get pregnant.

 

Here are my tips for trying to get pregnant based on my experience

 

1. Don’t stress, easier said than done but stress is one of the worst things for fertility for both partners. Don’t worry about what you are eating or drinking as long as you are somewhat healthy it will happen. Not eating salmon won’t keep you from getting pregnant, so adding it into your diet won’t do anything.

2. Find the 2 weeks you are possibly fertile and have sex every day or 2 within those two weeks. If you don’t feel like it, don't do it, make it fun, don’t turn it into a job. This is probably going to be the last time you have that much sex for awhile, make sure it’s enjoyable. 

3. If you live in a place that is hard to get an OB or midwife test as soon as possible. Where I live if you want a midwife you have to apply as soon as you can test. Yes it can add a bit of stress but your caregiver is worth it.

4. Have something to look forward to at the end of the month if you aren’t pregnant. It can be so disappointing to see that negative test and it most likely won’t happen in the first month. If I got a negative test I would buy myself a bottle of wine and I was happy I was able to drink it.