I kept hearing episiotomies are bad and tearing is better throughout my entire pregnancy. Then after 3 hours of pushing I was told I needed an episiotomy. My second birth I tore, I can verify tearing is way better than an episiotomy.

 

During my first birth I pushed for over 3 hours and then the doctor said we need to do an episiotomy with a vacuum to get the baby out, I’m like “isn’t an episiotomy bad?” she said sometimes they are necessary. After she did it and the baby was out she stitched me up. I think I only had 2 or 3 stitches but healing those stitches hurt so bad. It hurt to laugh, it hurt to pee and to move, everything was just painful and even after it was healed I had to go to pelvic floor physiotherapy.

 

For my second birth I pushed that kid out in not even 20 minutes but I tore. I ended up with 11 stitches, some on the perineum and some inside the vaginal canal. It healed so much better, I was sore the following few days but it was mostly my entire body just recovering from using every muscle it had to push the baby. My perineum was just sore, it didn’t hurt. I had to put polysporin on my stitches once in a while because they would start to rub and hurt but nothing compared to after the first birth. I could also move and laugh and it felt fine, sore but didn’t really hurt. My body as a whole really hurt and was sore but there wasn’t a sole focus on my perenium like there was last time. It also barely hurt to pee, I used the perry bottle for a couple of days when I peed but I didn’t even feel like I needed it so I just stopped using it. They healed up really nicely, according to my husband my vulva looks “prettier” than after Ryden’s birth, whatever that means. It also healed so much faster, I would say it was fully healed by 5 weeks post partum, Ryden’s birth was closer to 6 or 7 weeks.

 

If you have the choice, I would recommend tearing every time even if it sounds scarier.